Girl Stuff

I have tried to write this entry at least three times now and keep getting interrupted. I am determined to finish this time. (We'll see.)

We had a great visit with our family last week. It was such fun to have time just to sit and talk and play games with the kids. It was a real treat to be able to get spend time with my niece and nephews and get to know them again. They change so much between visits, sometimes they are like different people by the time I see them again. Chris and Michelle we like you too, but you don't change that much. (Thanks for coming guys. We love you!)

**Warning *** The following may be considered way too much information about girls stuff for many of you. Consider yourself warned and feel free to skip ahead to the end. ****

I started last week TIRED. I spent most of the day Monday and Tuesday in bed. When I wasn't in bed, I was sitting in a chair or laying (lying - who knows? I am too lazy to look this one up!) on the floor doing nothing else. Wednesday, I pretended to be feeling OK, mostly so that Mom would go home without being worried about me, however I could have spent Wednesday in bed too if I had the chance. (Sorry, Mom. We both know you needed to go home. Can't wait for you to come back next week.) This extreme tiredness was completely frustrating. Wednesday evening, the source of the exhaustion was revealed when I got my period. I normally am a little wiped out for a few days right before I start and I can identify the reason by looking at the calendar. This tiredness really took me by surprise as it had been just two weeks since my last period. Oh, the joy of chemical induced menopause.


The incredible hormone surges I have as a result of the menopause are a tricky thing. Hot flashes, although constant and annoying, are the least of my problems. Last month, I had a normal month, then PMS descended in week three and stayed to visit until week six when I finally had my period. We were starting to think I had undergone a personality change and I was going to be depressed until the end of chemo. Thank you God it was just the crazy hormones and not something permanent. I can't wait to see what fun surprise my hormones bring next.

Also last week I had to go in for a follow-up mammogram. I was totally unprepared for how difficult this was going to be for me. The second I set my foot in the door, I could feel my blood pressure rise and I started to breathe heavily. My body seemed to remember being poked, prodded, and indelicately told I had cancer in that place. I survived the mammogram, but then on the way out of the office, argued with Paul and burst into tears in the parking lot. I am hoping the next time I go into the mammogram place I will handle it just a little bit better.

OK, girl stuff over. This week I seem to be doing fine. I am working hard to listen to my body and rest when I need it. I am also trying very hard to give myself a mental break and not lay there going over my enormous "to do" list while I am supposed to be resting. I am having only limited success with this. As always, I am a work in progress.

"In the same way, the Spirit help us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26