This week my life has become all about pain management. The upper left quadrant of my body has become started burning, itching, and/or just plain hurting most of the time. My left nipple has become so sensitive that today I doubled over in pain because the wind was hitting it. I have several magic cremes that help this a little. Also, I now know that one way to cool off your burning skin is to stand with your boob in the freezer. However, this only works for a few minutes and makes your kids fall over laughing.
In addition, I have developed an open wound under my arm on my surgical scar. This looks a lot like a spot of chaffing, like a baby would get under its diaper. The problem is that this spot rubs together all day and then gets radiated every afternoon. The nurse is concerned it may open up even more and become an even bigger problem. As a reslut, I now have to keep my armpit full of lotion and bandaged all the time. Keeping the bandage in place proves to be a bit of a challenge, as nothing can be taped to my radiated skin. The nurse informs me that this spot will most likely not heal until the radiation is over. The good news is that on and around my scar the nerves were damaged by my surgeries so I can't feel the pain of the wound, only the pain of the bandages rubbing on the sensitive skin around it.
All of this pain results in me being very edgy and grumpy in general. I can deal with this alright most of the time, but lately, I have been unable to control my fury when my husband even looks at me "wrong". Oh boy, watch out. Unfortunately, he is also in a fragile state having battled cancer all of this time too. He is not physically suffering, but he has been tortured right along with me. So of course, he is also ready for a fight and lashes back. What this amounts to is two hurt, wounded people beating each other up. Not very attractive. It must be pretty bad because this afternoon Andrew said, "You two have been fighting a lot lately, so if you need to go out tonight, that's OK." Ouch! We are working on it and trying to handle each other more gently.
The good news (after all of that bad) is that this week I crossed the half way point. Today I had my 18th radiation, only 16 left. Hooray!
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
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So.... are you taking the wise Andrew up on his advice to go out with your husband tonight? If so, they are invited here for a date of their own!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on making past the halfway point! Progress... painful progress, but progress nonetheless.
I should have read this before I called...then I woulnd't have had to called!! Just kidding!! Yippy Skippy on the over half way mark!!!
ReplyDeleteI get grumpy with Brent and I don't even have your excuse!