This week was much better than last. On Sunday, I woke up feeling pretty good and that has continued for most of the week. Thank you all of you who called and sent notes and beautiful flowers this week. I really needed the boost.
Chemo tomorrow again...sigh. I realized today that I am half way through my first set of chemo. The first 12 weeks is one kind and the second 12 weeks is a different kind. Saying half way through the first part is a lot less depressing than saying, "Two down, 14 to go!" This way at least I feel like I have accomplished something.
I am feeling pretty good tonight. I can kind of ignore the whole chemo thing looming ahead until we finish school on Thursday. Then, I start getting pretty anxious. Sort of like getting tight the night before a big game. I start running around in a flurry of activity trying to get everything done and not thinking about tomorrow.
The good news about tonight is that right now I am very calm. No, not because I am up past any self-respecting chemo girl's bedtime. I am calm because I had the opportunity to have two incredible women pray with me tonight, one on the phone and one at my kitchen table. I feel like my whole day tomorrow, every detail, has been covered in prayer and it is now in God's very capable hands.
Surprisingly, the most difficult thing for me right now is not the anticipation of the pain (there is a little) or discomfort. The most difficult thing for me to deal with is the knowledge that I will pretty much check out of life for the next 2-3 days and only be functional part of the time for a few days after that. I just don't want to miss any part of my life and it pains me to know that this weekend I will sit in a chair and watch the world go by most of the time. This is a reminder to me that I should be careful to use the rest of my time very wisely because it is a precious gift that can be taken away. I guess that is a reminder for all of you too.
On that note, good night. Much love, Cara
"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment