Roller Coaster

First, we had a bit a personal tragedy this weekend. Ben's pet leopard gecko, James Bond, passed away. I have to commend my husband. He planned and executed a very nice funeral service for Ben's beloved lizard. This was really a big event for the kids; James was the first pet they were attached to that has died. Also, it brought all kinds of emotions and fears about death and sickness to the surface for them. They handled it pretty well and even discussed the merits of lizards in heaven with each other. God made lizards here, so why wouldn't He have them in heaven?

I have had a bit of rough week. On Wednesday after my chemo I woke up feeling fine, as I expected. What I didn't expect was to walk full force into menopause that same day. Mood swings, hot flashes, anger, insomnia, I have it all. The only thing to do right now is ride it out, as medication to replace hormones that we are trying to suppress to kill cancer is clearly not an option. Right now you should stop and pray for my family. Just kidding.

Putting a name and face on the monster really helped and I am better able to deal with it now that I recognize what my problem actually is. However, last week I was a mess. I was generally unable to just deal with my life for a few days. Any little thing sent me spiraling over the edge. A couple of things help me through the week. Mom preformed like a champion. She stepped right in and took over anytime I had to walk away. She taught school, cooked, cleaned, ran the boys around, and carefully held our hands and counseled us. I don't know what we would have done with out her. (Dad you had better get used to doing you own laundry, because we love having her here.) In addition, several of my girl friends (you know who you are) pulled the ranks in tight and called, texted, prayed and called some more just to make sure I was ok and not a puddle of goo. Also, I got a couple of amazing cards and gifts in the mail that were truly touching and encouraging. I could not walk through this without all of those hands holding me up.

So this week is starting a little better. I am still HOT and still a little angry (but at least I know why). Mom is going to go home tomorrow. I am a little anxious about this. Weird, I know. I thought at this point I might be shoving her out the door, but I really want her to stay forever.

Please pray that I am able to manage things at home without Mom by my side, that the new symptoms of menopause reduce and are manageable, that I will have much patience with the kids, and they will have cooperative hearts to help me along. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can see the results of the prayers everywhere.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33